The Falling Down House

There is an abandoned house down the street that is falling down around itself. To be honest, it was never a pristine property– but it’s really looking sad now. Gutters are falling off, paint is peeling, the front porch is falling in and the grass and shrubs are overgrown. Tiny plastic toddler toys sit in the backyard waiting for some little people to come play. You can’t help but wonder the story behind the sad house when you see it. But I noticed something while walking by the house one night earlier this week. There is a wild rose bush on the south side of the house that has burst into blooms. Big pink roses cover the shrub as it reaches its beautiful branches in countless directions. This remarkable gift of nature is such a contrast against the falling down house. If someone lived here, the rose bush would be pruned. Controlled. Restrained.

There is someone I know that is facing an unforeseen tragedy that is painfully beyond anyone’s control. Despite it all, she is stoic. Controlled. Restrained. She soldiers on doing what she must do effectively and efficiently each day. Keeping everything in order. I want to throw my arms around her and give her a big hug. But protocol, our level of acquaintance and her manner of conduct forbid this. Mostly, I just want her to cry. I want her to give herself permission to be human.

It seems to me that we spend so much of our lives fighting back our emotions. Boys are raised to always “suck it up” and never cry—for fear of showing weakness. Girls today are taught to be competitive and grow tougher skin so as to succeed successfully in the workplace. Cultivating a “Poker Face” is considered to be a coveted skill. Funny how society keeps getting it wrong, huh?

If God had wanted us to go through life being stoic, restrained and controlled, he wouldn’t have given us emotions. Or tear ducts. There would be no need for community, friendship, families or love. And we would be missing all the best things this life holds.

Letting go is so scary. We don’t know for sure what will happen after the fall. But sometimes the only way beauty can bloom is when we stop restraining it and see where the branches extend.