If I Only Had a Heart

Wizard of Oz: "As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

Tin Woodsman: "But I still want one."

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I have really vivid memories of being about 6 years old, sitting on the floor in our living room in front of our TV (which sat in a big, two-door cabinet) watching The Wizard of Oz. I wanted to go get someone (Mom, Dad, Sooz) to watch with me. But I was so terrifed of that Wicked Witch, that I couldn't move. Watching that movie began an annual tradition.

Back in the day before DVDs or video tape, The Wizard of Oz would air on TV once a year. I would look forward to it for weeks in advance. My Dad knew how much I loved that movie. As I got older (and moved out), he would call to make sure I knew which night the show would be airing. One year, when I was in my early 20s, I was out at a club with friends. I happened to look over at the bar and noticed that The Wizard of Oz was on TV that night. Funny, but even though I was feeling pretty independent at that point in my life--the place I wanted to be the most at that moment was at home, with my Dad, watching that show on television.

A couple years ago on a snowy, dark night in rural Ohio, my Dad ran out to the local gas & shop for some ice cream. That's when he found the Tin Man. He was locally made ... and created out of tin cans, pop tabs and bottle caps. (He also had the misfortune of being painted red, in honor of a local sports team.) Dad bought him and took him home. He shopped eBay for a red heart pendant for the Tin Man to wear. Then he gave him to me for my birthday that year. It would be hard to explain to anyone other than Dad --why I cried when I saw him. So, I didn't try.

Recently, I finally gave the Tin Man a shiny coat of silver paint and put him on my (covered) front porch, reassuring him all-the-while, that I would always love him --heart or no heart.